Why Must This Feel Like A Confession?

I've lived in a not-exactly-unique, but separate time in which when I was very young, Michael Jackson was the man, but when I was in my "growing-up" years, Michael Jackson was turning into...well, Wacko Jacko.
Off the Wall came out the year I was born, and Thriller came out when I was three.  Much like my own son has done with Metallica, the first songs that I really knew and recognized were Michael Jackson.  I didn't know what the hell he was singing about, I just knew that I knew the songs and that they played a lot on the radio.
Then his videos came along and you got to see him dance.  Holy shit.  The sidewalk lights up when he steps on it! The entire world comes to a stop when a hot chick walks by him!  He's gonna turn into a zombie and eat that girl's brain when you're not looking!  The amusement park is gonna be destroyed when he gets up!  Don't threaten him, or he'll moonwalk up and down your asshole!  The moonwalk - how awesome a dance move is that? He's walking forward but he's going backward!  Mind blowing.  Even more so if you are about five years old. 

When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say, "Michael Jackson."  Much as my own son thinks that he can do everything that he sees someone else do in an entertaining capacity, I thought I could dance and shit like Michael. I never could figure out the moonwalk, but that robot-dance that he did - yeah, I would flop my arms and upper body around in a vaguely jerky manner and think that I was doing it just like Michael.  What an idiot.  I'm glad video cameras were not something that was easy to come by in those days.

I still have my vinyl copy of Thriller from back then (we used to call them "records," children).  I always wondered why Michael was making that face on the cover, as if he's saying 'will you come on and snap this picture, I've got shit to do.'  Open the gatefold and you'll see that there's a tiger cub on his lap.  Well, that explains that.  So many awesome songs are on that album, although my point of view is probably skewed by nostalgia.  "The Girl Is Mine" is a duet with Paul McFuckingCartney!  Back then, I didn't know Paul from anybody, but now I do - he's Paul McFuckingCartney!  Paul is my favorite Beatle.  His songs are always better than John Lennon's, in my unhumble opinion.  If I ever met him, I would probably say, "Whoa! It's Paul McFuckingCartney!"  But I digress.
"Billie Jean" is a good example of 'I don't know what he means, but I like it.'  When anyone quotes Michael Jackson, they inevitably say either "HEE-HEE!" or "HOOO!"  These are go-to Michael phrases, which he says in almost every song. Let it be known that when I say "HOOO!" I am quoting him from "Billie Jean."
"Human Nature," "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)," "Beat It"... I could go on and on, just about that album.
Without Michael Jackson, there would be no Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera or even Madonna.  Any singer whose concert or videos integrated heavily-choreographed dancing owes it all to Michael Jackson.
Like most people, as I grew up I lost interest in pop music and what the radio or TV told me I was supposed to like.  So, I let Michael Jackson slip by the wayside - and he became a freak.  I'm not saying these two happening are related, but...
Even as I got older, he still produced some awesomeness. "Scream," "Black or White"... Whatever else you may say, he was never in doubt of his own greatness.  When Michael Jackson did anything, it was an event, maybe or maybe not Super Bowl related.
Oh, I don't know what's up with the crotch-grabbing either, but it was always part of his moves.
In conclusion, I like Michael Jackson - wanna be starting somethin'?